Thursday, March 19, 2015

Epoch Fail, Gloom Abroad, Pit Boss

Me the last 4 months.
It's getting warmer here in Michigan. Last week we had weather that was in the mid 60's which is practically unheard of for this time of year. And as is the case with all transitional seasons you start to get a sense of one chapter closing and the advent of another. As for the chapter that is closing, for the most part my chapter was plebeian at best. An interminable way point that I would have preferred to eschew than experience first hand. But here I am at the withering moments of winter and I have little to reflect upon. It was a shitty, arduous winter and I am glad that change is on the horizon. Not that I think that other people are out doing all kinds of wonderful things during the cold seasons. I don't see many snow orgies on my commute home. I don't often see flyers for workshops entitled, "Icicle Incantations: Sparking Sexual Interplay With Frosty Phallus's" when I am window shopping. But I wish I was in a position to travel more to warmer climates in the the winter months and cooler climates in the summer months. If I could go on 2 month tours during both those seasons I would always go to places people least expect. Winter's here? Let's tour the Amazon basin. Summer's coming? Let's tour only Eskimo villages. Perhaps one day Kerry King willing.

Don't let my usual whining set you astray though. For the most part, I am in relatively high spirits lately. Ruined is in the studio recording and we are going on tour with Planning for Burial in May which is fucking incredible. How a fuckhead like me gets to be on the same bill with one of the best musicians/people out there for three nights in a row is beyond me. Also I recently have found renewed fealty to my peers here in Grand Rapids as well. I don't know if I will ever be a social Czar here but I am glad people are willing to pull through for me even though I am a penurious and accursed shitbag. I feel it's worth mentioning though that when I am on tour I am far more amicable and even conciliatory to everyone around me. I genuinely enjoy the company of humanity overall when I am on the road. And the main explanation for that being that I pretty much hate not being on tour and every moment spent static takes an egregious toll on my self-worth. So basically I am in a better mood when I am on the road and I don't hate people in such a piercing or relentless way. Also I am less likely to deal with yuppies and normo's every fucking day when I am playing punk basements and hipster havens. Then again I hate punks and hipsters too...and I am usually really tired after I play a set so I get grumpy...yeah you know what forget all that I am just a fuckshitter. I am just the way Kerry King made me.

Legitimate Gloom.

With that tour on the horizon it gives me something to look forward to which is really all life is. Or at least living within Western culture; a whole bunch of bullshit and the occasional reprieve only to be cast back down into the depths of despair. But knowing that the tour is coming up in a couple of months I have begun trying to eat better and exercise. I have to really kick it up a notch because not only do I have to build my stamina for our set every night, but I also have to keep the pit open during the entirety of Planning for Burial's set. It's going to be tough to keep a bunch of gloom fucks and sad saps moving in the pit. They will be emotionally subverted and therefore physically devitalized. It'll be my job to maintain what I like to call "Pit Velocity." I will encourage others to crawl onto me and stab me with ceremonial daggers and we will all cry and puke blood until there is no more sanguine fluid to spill. It will be glorious. I should probably start training, stay gloomy.   

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