The German Himself Does Not Exist, He Is Becoming, He Is "Developing Himself"

I have been missing
Europe a lot lately.

Alright I just woke up from a nap so I am feeling pretty groggy and shitty. I am sipping on some coffee and listening to some noir-as-fuck jams right now so this post could go anywhere. I am quite languid at the moment so I am not sure if my typical bubbling rage will reach the surface or not but who knows. I am listening to the album "Sunset Mission" by this band called Bohren and Der Club of Gore. As you can imagine they are German and it is some of the best shit I have heard in a long time. Ambient jazz mixed with sultry soundscapes and avant-garde electronics. Watch out Scorpions, and hold onto your flame shooting cod pieces Rammstein, there's a new cowboy in town. Well, like 15 years ago they were new but still. Not the type of band I would expect to come out of Germany though. My experience with playing shows in Germany was a place of kindhearted natures and fellowship. Minus the fact that they didn't seem to grasp the concept of holding doors open for people. Everywhere else I went in Europe when I would be carrying an 80 pound cab most people (despite the language barrier) would sense that I would appreciate if they held the door open. I couldn't even get people to move out of the way in a crowded room I had to just gently barrel into them and they'd look at me like I was the asshole. Yeah in fact I would say I felt genuinely ignored the entire time I was in that country so fuck that kindhearted thing I said earlier. Now I am just mumbling about nothing though and should probably move on. ONWARD!

Bomb ass ambiance.

Coo...

I have had a much more placid repose as of late. As many of you know I am often times crushed by an asphyxiating sense of urgency to make my goals become realities. Primarily when it comes to my music and the distance I wish to go with my music. Yet often times I find myself picking up my bass and feeling arid and listless. Often times this is due to the demanding mental and physical strain of my job. If my co-workers weren't so coo I would probably be found in a psychiatric ward sobbing and eating my own excrement. To anyone reading this who ever buys food from anywhere, could you stop being such fucking shit-hammers? It's just food okay? Sure being hungry honks, but the sun will explode one day and your body will be torn asunder by a solar flare so intense that your eyes will become liquid mercury and you will choke where you stand as your lungs ignite like thermite as your chest cavity becomes another Hindenburg tragedy. You will be left nothing more that an ashen prodigality and none of this shit will matter anymore. Which if your anything like me that gives me great comfort and fills me with a sense of calm. But when I am not feeling these urgent and onerous sensations I have been taking great joy in the little things that life has to offer. I have been watching South Park a lot again lately which reconnects me with my teenage years. I have been doing a lot of research again for some new pedals I am interested in getting which gives me something to look forward to. And I have been gaming periodically still which always helps me escape the burdens of everyday life. 

Me 36 hours from now.

And on the subject of gaming, I have posted this a few times online already. But starting tomorrow night I will be gaming for 24 HOURS STRAIGHT with my brother as a charity event for Helen Devos Children's Hospital. I have almost reached my goal but if any of you would like to donate and help me close the gap I would greatly appreciate it. Feel free to DONATE HERE and any donation would be greatly appreciated. I am not as young as I once was and this is going to be quite a journey. My brother plans to stream our progress via Twitch.tv and I will be sure to post that tomorrow when we get all set up. Now that I have gotten my charitable bit out of the way, fuck everybody and God hates us all. Stay Gloomy.