NEW MELT-FACE ACTION!!!, Pathetic Pickle, Beautiful Sadness

I finally got around to posting a new song demo. (Check it out here http://squallmi.bandcamp.com/ ) Easily one of our more disgusting songs to date. I don't have plans to create many songs like this but I like it a lot. It is also probably going to be the last song demo I will post since we are hoping to start working on a full length. We are shooting for about 8 songs at the moments and have about 5 1/2 written with bass and vocals. If I ever find time to gloom alone for days on end we will probably bang this out in a reasonable amount of time. Winter is a wonderful time for this type of expression.

Otherwise, I have been struggling with loneliness lately. I woke up this morning feeling pretty horrible. I have dreams every now and then that tell me that I am really fucking myself over. It's hard to ignore them when they seem so real. And then I wake up and almost fall through my fake wall that I built with closet doors and broken window frames. I love living in the dark of the basement I just wonder if I am really just a pathetic asshole with no real purpose. I think there is a lot of strong evidence that shows that could be the case. I just watch Parks And Recreation and think about trees. I like trees.

Believe it or not though, some things do make me feel kinship with others. Playing music with Monte has been one of the few certainties in my life over these past 6 or 7 years. Also I have been reading books by the author Eric G. Wilson. My friend Sock turned me onto him and I have felt invigorated every time I read even a page or two of these books. People are always trying to tell me that melancholy is a burden and I have never agreed with that. The following is an excerpt from the book "Against Happiness" by Eric G. Wilson that I have come to ponder almost everyday since I have read it.

"I learn again that my lonely meditations on death breed lively musings on life. I am further instructed in the mysteries of the universe, in the cosmic interplay between transience and permanence. Alerted to this pattern, I overcome my alienation and realize that I, like all other creatures, am a meeting place of wondrous oppositions, wings and dirt, stars and slugs." 

Those Buds Are Going To Open The Fuck Up, They've Taken The Fuckheads To Isengard, Dream The Inside Dream My Own

Around this time of year in the North, people are always suffering from the changing of the season. All the plantation is dying and therefore so does their moods. As a child, this was the happiest time of the year for me. Both my birthday and Xmas were during the winter so I was groomed at an early age to see the snow as a sign of happier times. No school, presents and lots of sledding. As I have grown older though, a lot of the magic has faded and I do not look at things as wide eyed as I use to. But I do not include myself into the group I mentioned above. Though I don't necessarily like biking through the freezing rain or the piercing winds, I find myself embracing the bitterness of it all. While others prepare themselves for the winter ahead and wish for better days, I believe these are my best days. No one expects me to go out into the open air, no one mocks my pale skin, really in general everyone hibernates in their own cocoons allowing us mutants of the dark to reclaim our grey dreary skies and wet oil pavement. If only I didn't have to get up so early then I could appreciate the night more fully. C'est la vie.

On a lighter note, I have started watching Game Of Thrones just like every other asshole on the planet. I am kind of pissed that show is so popular though. I hate that what losers thought was cool just a short time ago is now hip to all the mouth-breathers of the the world. Frat guys play "Skyrim" and take a shot every time someone says something Elvish. Fuck that shit. God Hates Us All but they better fucking hate you the most.

Speaking of fantasy, I saw people praying in public today. Other people were trying to eat too. Gross.

P.S. Been listening to Between The Buried and Me nonstop lately. Oh and I might actually post that new demo I have been mentioning tomorrow. Or Sunday. Or sometime next week. I have to go to bed to get 5 hours of sleep maybe. And yeah I know there are so many tough people out there who do that every day blah blah blah. Sleep Forever.  

Pineapple Makes Everything Taste Better, Guts Punch Balls Throw Up, Only Two Things Open The Pit: Me and Saxophone

I really like pineapple. I can't remember a time that I didn't like pineapple. If someone were to ask me, "Hey Zach, do you like pineapple?" I would say, (in my mind,) "Oh my Kerry King, a human being is talking to me..." Then I'd probably puke pineapple juice onto their shoes and they would run away or beat me up. I am drinking a banana/pineapple smoothie if anyone's wondering where this came from.


I may be posting a new demo for a new song sometime in the next few days. Right now it is called "Sundials." I wrote a riff that sounded like a ticking clock and then I thought about the movie "Hercules" when that guy opens his jacket and you think he's flashing them but he's actually trying to sell a sundial. (See below.) A lot of Disney influence lately. Hmm... And then of course when Master Shredder Monte got his hands on it he wrote a fucking gnarly early Jesu sounding riff for the first part. Then just when you think your face is going to melt off your bones, he makes your flesh bond to your skull by making you cry uncontrollably and letting the icy wind of his licks freeze your tears. That young man has some mystic shit going on.

Otherwise I went to Kalamazoo to practice with my other band Tristram and hung out with my friend Captain Cuddles a.k.a. Richard. He might do some gloom saxophone for this project which I think would sound pretty awesome. It'll sound like "Us And Them" by Pink Floyd except I'll be weeping over the entire track talking about my feelings and Monte will be puking blood. I love Pink Floyd, I think most people in my age group who don't like them don't like them because it's not "punk" to like them. I think anything can be hyped too much though so I get that. I would open the gloom pit to some Floyd though. No shame. Shame is not punk.

New Song Demo, The Cave of Wonders, Chris Tucker Thunder Smash,

I woke up from terrible dreams again and I am pretty sure mice were trying to eat my bananas. Many creatures seek sanctuary in the darkness of the basement. Now I am watching the "Fifth Element" and feeling really thirsty. Some almond milk sounds pretty good. But then I'd have to go upstairs, possibly communicate with someone. Should probably just drink whatever drippings come off the pipes. If you are not familiar with my living situation, it's similar to Aladdin's in the movie...um..."Aladdin." Except it's kind of like that if that was buried in the ground. Maybe it's more like the dungeon he is thrown in and Jafar comes and fucks his shit up. Sorry for the spoilers anyone born after 1992.

Otherwise, Monte and I did some rough recordings last week that I am hoping to get around to mixing today. Or I might just lay in bed and watch Bruce Willis movies. Both would be conducive to the creative process.

*UPDATE* Finished mixing a demo for Drown Beneath Our Feet with Monte on it. So that's pretty neato. Or I should say, it's gloomy as shit and all things neato must burn. Check it out at our bandcamp http://squallmi.bandcamp.com/track/drown-beneath-our-feet

End of An Era, New Beginnings, You Got Your Emo Bullshit In My Peanut Butter.

It has been a while. Primarily because nothing has been happening. We have been trying to do Longing for years now and it just wasn't being what I was hoping it would become. So we have decided to take a step back and officially stop trying to make it work at least for now. Monte and I (Zach) have always wanted to do a two piece project since we had become friends years ago and heard "Deathconciousness" by Have A Nice Life for the first time. So instead of freaking out about whether we can tour or not, we have decided to start a new project and just focus on making some good music that maybe some people would like to hear. I personally am very excited about the potential of this project and am feeling less stressed and more creative. But of course still gloomy as fuck so no worries there. Anyways, if there were any fans of Longing I am sure you will enjoy what Squall puts out as well. Forever gloom -Zach.

P.S. I named this project Squall after the character from Final Fantasy 8. He is probably the only character in history who is more emo then myself. The following video is a tribute to him set to an Evanescence song. That's pretty fucking teenage angsty. God Hates Us All.