I woke up today to hear the news that Chi Cheng, the former bassist of Deftones died yesterday after being in a 5 year coma. I was at work all day yesterday so I wasn't near any sort of music news to hear it any sooner. Which made me feel like shit that I spent all day yesterday in blissful ignorance. I don't know about you, but Chi and Deftones were a huge part of my adolescence. They both were a huge part of why I couldn't put my bass down when I was young. So this news has fucked me up and I have to be to work in less than an hour. I seem to have a habit of forgetting what people have meant to me until it's too late. Another big inspiration for me when I was young was my brother's friend Ken who was also killed in a car crash. He helped ignite the flame and I saw what discipline and practice could help me obtain. I couldn't stop crying just like now but my sister Maddie was there to hold me and she was a baby then. Life is so fleeting and I spend half of my waking hours fucking miserable for nothing. I could get smashed by a car tomorrow and I'd have nothing to show for it. I may hate most people but I hope those people I love and respect know that I feel that way for them and will until my death. I really don't have much more to say. I'm really upset about this and I am upset how much it illuminates my own life and how unsatisfied I am with it. We're all dying.