Monday, April 8, 2013

Hard-Ass Soup, The Two Headed Woman and The 6-String Bass, Gloom Totem Pole

You've got two things right now: Jack and Shit,
and Jack just left town.
I saw the 1981 version of "Evil Dead" for the first time last night. (I know I've been fucking up.) I have seen "Army of Darkness" numerous times and they are worlds apart. It does make me curious to see the remake though. Not enough to go pay and see it because I am sure it is shitty in a lot of ways but I did watch a trailer for it earlier and it did look pretty gnarly if you are into gore and shit. And puke gore. And gore being puked into the hole of someone else's gory face filled with pukey gory goo. But Ash will always have a special place in my heart. I think that would be a cool name to have. I would name my kid Ashley Maggot Meier. They would never ever get beat up. Cause I know what it takes to be coo these days. You need to know just a few simple rules to be coo: Do not make eye contact unless you absolutely must, go outside as little as possible and don't talk to anyone ever. Then people will think you are super coo all the time because you are so "exclusive" you see. Yep, that's how that works.

I got to hang out with two of the coolest dudes ever the other day. Master Shredder Graham Henning and Joe "Where's The Fucking Pit?" Moon. For those of you who don't know or live far away in magical lands full of gumdrop forests, Joe and his lovely ladyfriend Sarah just had a baby pit princess named Ramona Wolf Scott-Moon. Isn't that such a cool name? "RAMONA WOLF..." Full of mystery and wonder. I wish I was named Ramona, or Ashley. I think I might go by Ashley now. ASHLEY PIT-WARRIOR. Yep, call me Ashley from now on please. Anywho, I didn't get to meet the little lady but what little positive energy I have will be sent to all of them telepathically. Seems like everyone I know is having babies now, must just getting to be that age. I've said it before time and time again, but Joe and Ryan "Ditch Demon" Brady are the funnest dudes I know and I can't wait to see Bolt Thrower with them and Richard "Tricky Dick" Hackler in June. We'll show that pit how we do in Gun Ru. 

Otherwise, Longing practiced for the last time today before our show on Friday with Planning For Burial. I think it will go pretty well. It is mildly upsetting that our show has to start and end early so that people can get to a better show that was booked down the road. I really hate when that shit happens but Longing has always been a more personal band for me then a band I really desire to share with others. It's more cathartic then it is fun. It's just a different outlet for me then all the other bands I have been involved with. But if any of you are in the Kalamazoo area and feel like getting gloomy by 7 p.m. before Denny's Early Bird Specials run out then feel free to make an appearance. Only mildly related, but I was recently shown this band Agowilt and they are really fucking good. (All accreditation and endorsements are the rights of Butt Abs Inc., a subservient of Tricky Dick Unlimited.) They basically sound a lot like how I would like my band Tristram to sound like. Really fucking heavy but beautiful at the same time. Check them out HERE if you're interested. Speaking of heavy but ugly as shit, it is Paul Gray of Slipknot's birthday today. Though of course he is not with us anymore due to Maggot overdose. As that old Don McLean song goes "This world was never meant for one as Nu as you."

Rest in rot...

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